It has only been recently that Lily and I have trekked out of the house for errands and socialization. There were so many things I didn't know about bringing baby into the outside world. Can I put the car seat in the shopping cart? What do I do if she cries? Where do I change her diaper? What about germs? I had so many questions. I was definitely being the paranoid mom and caring too much about ridiculous things.
The fact is that when Lily made her arrival in July of 2009 my world was turned upside down. Nothing I had ever learned about babies helped me to take care of my own little one. It seemed like she was from a different planet. An alien baby! I was blessed with a colicky alien baby. She cried. I cried. She cried some more. I was too scared to go out into public. What would people think of me and this constantly crying baby?! So, we stayed in. Thinking back on it now that was probably not the best idea. Isolation + new baby = depressed mom!
Finally, around five months the colic started to subside. I felt a huge burden lifted off my shoulders as the colic days seemed to be disappearing here and there. Lily was finally a happy baby (most of the time). Slowly we started making little appearances in the outside world. I became part of a local online group for moms, got more involved with other moms in our church, and made some time for myself. We've come a long way.
In the thick of those colic days I never imagined that life would be "normal" again. It seemed that holding a crying baby for 18 hours of the day was going to be my "normal" for the rest of my life. If you are ever holding a colicky baby I'm sure that many people have told you that it will get better. I had heard it so many times. It got old...fast. The last thing you want is advice from people who just haven't been there. It does get better though. It's hard. Definitely the hardest thing I have ever been through. It's all been worth it.
Lily thrives on getting out of the house. I guess most babies do. She loves her hat, her jacket, and even her car seat (for now at least). She loves to watch people, but she is actually quite bashful. Today we went out to lunch with some ladies and their little ones. It was nice to finally feel "normal."
Inspiration in the Darkness
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